Never Alone
by Lolleh-hime
Summary: It has been a year since the Forest Spirit had died, and San hasn’t seen Ashitaka since their parting. But on the first snowfall of winter though, she gets an unexpected visit. SA


Lolleh: HEY! Oh my, I am SO bored right now. Argh! And super pissed. I tried to tape off Mononoke-hime last night and my tape ran out - I guess I gotta order it on dvd now instead. Oh well…enjoy the fic is all I gotta say for now.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mononoke-hime and unfortunately I never will. ;-;

Summary: It has been a year since the Forest Spirit had died, and San hasn't seen Ashitaka since their parting. But on the first snowfall of winter though, she gets an unexpected visit. SA

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Never Alone 

She sat and waited, her knees curled up to her chest so that she could rest her chin on them. She was bored, and the cold air chilled her, but still, she waited. Like every other day of that year, she never missed out, her senses keeping strict guard of all the movements in the forest. But still…out of all those who enter, neither was the man she was hoping it to be.

San, Princess Mononoke, Moro's Daughter, she, a wolf, was longing for a human's touch? It made no sense to her, and it somewhat scared her. She was supposed to hate them, hate all the humans for nearly destroying the forest…for killing its spirit.

But here she sat for the past year waiting for one of them to come like he had promised her. Ashitaka, the prince of a land far away from hers, who now lived, as far as she knew, in Iron Town. She had unwillingly allowed him to capture her heart, and even though she told him that she could never be with him for the simple fact that he was human, and she couldn't forgive them, she still longed for his touch.

"I'm such a fool." San pressed her forehead against her knees and shivered slightly as the cold wind cause a draft to fly up her purple skirt, chilling her legs. "Why do I wait here everyday for him? He never comes…he never will. He is happier in Iron Town with the humans…"

"You are beating yourself up over nothing," one of her brothers said from behind. "Come, sister you must eat."

"I'm not hungry." San said as she stood.

"San."

"Please…you go ahead and start without me. I'm going for a walk." San gave her brother a smile before she bounded off from the den, down over the cold rocks. The sun had set an hour before, the cooling of the night and the newly chilled winter air made ice form over the rocks in small layers that chipped away as San ran across them.

'_Sorry brother, but I cannot help the way I am feeling. It's the human side of me…if I could I would tear that side out of me so I will not feel this…'_ San thought, pulling her mask down over her face as she bounded off into the trees. _'I want to hate him but I can't, he is human but he is not like the rest…so please…forgive me.'_

San stopped, she was at the lake; it was iced over, and had been for quite some time. With a sigh she glided across the ice, her hands pressed against her chest and her head down. "Why am I tearing myself apart?" she muttered. "No human is worth this much heartache. I should be happy that he never came back."

San brought up in a rock that was on the edge of the island in the middle of the lake. She fell forward, and the frozen grass and moss cracked and broke under her hands and knees. She sighed and sat down where she fell, rising up her mask to get a better view of the lake around her.

She inhaled through her nose, taking in the scent of the trees and the animals. She glanced to one side of her, the rattling and chiming from the Kodama catching her attention. The little bobble-headed spirits flocked to her, just standing there with their blank, eyeless stares, occasionally bobbing their heads.

"Hmph, well I'm glad to see you all out around again." San said. "Though it'll soon be the time of year for you all to go into hiding isn't it? The snow will fall tonight." She sighed and watched them all just stare at her. "I guess you know that and your coming to say goodbye, huh?"

"Yeah, that, and I asked them to take me to you."

San froze, her muscles tensed and her eyes widened. It couldn't be. She stood, slowly, and turned her head to one side so she could glance at the figure that stood behind her. There he was, just standing there like the Kodama were doing, minus the rattling.

San felt her breath catch in her throat as she turned around fully, she couldn't believe it. Ashitaka…he was right there, standing before her, that same handsome smile plastered across his lips. And that scar under his left eye, the one she had put there, still stood out over his features. "A-Ashitaka?" her voice trembled, and her breath came from her mouth as puffs of white steam.

"Yes, its me San." Ashitaka took a step towards her, his arms opening as if to present himself to her. "I-I'm sorry…it's been so long."

San shook her head, she squeezed her eyes shut tight, letting her tears roll freely down her cheeks as she ran to him and latched her arms around his neck. She pressed her face into his chest and cried, letting all her pride as a wolf wash away with her joy of seeing him again.

'_Its not good for me to fight it.'_ She thought, feeling his arms closing around her. _'I want to haul away…to run away and never look at him again. But I can't find it in me to let him go…for I fear if I do I may lose him forever.'_ San's shoulders trembled with her sobs, gaining a little bit on comfort from Ashitaka's hands, which were rubbing her back up and down softly, trying to put an end to her tears.

'_My actions and decision caused me to lose him a year ago…I will not be losing him again…never…'_

"San its alright, please." Ashitaka cooed softly, resting his face down in her hair, taking in her woodsy smell. A smell he had missed for so long. "I'm here now, don't cry."

"Why now?" San choked out. "Why now instead of a year ago? Why didn't you come? Like you promised."

She felt him sigh and shake his head, bringing one of his hands up to stroke her hair. "I wanted to give you time, San." He said softly. "I wanted you to try and get well again, to heal along with the forest. I didn't want…"

"I would have healed faster if you were here with me." San said, her tears halted, but her eyes remained shut. "I didn't know what happened to you…whether you were dead or alive…whether you have forgotten about me or not…I didn't know."

"I'd never forget about you, San. You should already know that." Ashitaka whispered. "I'm sorry…to have worried you."

San trembled, feeling the airs temperature drop around them. She then felt the cold snowflakes land on her, melting quickly on her skin. The sound of the Kodama running off from the snow echoed through her ears for the next few moments, then everything was silent again.

San looked up at him, she gazed in wonder as Ashitaka smiled down at her, still holding her in his strong arms. That look, it warmed her, making her forget about the falling snow and the chill that was running up her legs.

She missed his smile; she missed those beautiful dark eyes staring at her in that loving way. She had known his feelings for her for a long time now, and it was only then she could seriously say that she loved him back with as much power and passion as what he loved her.

"Ashi…taka…" San whispered softly, lost in his eyes.

"Shh…" Ashitaka cooed, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "San, please. Forgive me for what I am about to do."

San's back arched slightly as Ashitaka's eyes closed, and his lips gently pushed against her own. She paused for a moment, her body not allowing her to react to him, she had lost all control, and just stood there staring into his face.

Ashitaka pulled away after a moment and frowned at her, giving her that please-forgive-me look. He went to let her go and push away, but San, still unable to control herself, held him stiffly close to her. "San?"

San blinked, finding the feeling creeping back into her limbs. Her mouth opened as she drew in a small breath before closing her eyes and leaning up to grasp his lips with hers once again. She had to give in, it was now or never…and she chose now.

All of her will, her power, her strength…it all gave away in that moment as she felt his grip around her tighten when she kissed him back. San loved him, with all her heart, and she was foolish before to have tossed it all to one side and think she could live without him.

She was still San, Princess Mononoke, and Moro's daughter…she was still the wolf girl, but now, she wasn't alone. And she knew as she and Ashitaka parted their kiss and stared into each other's eyes, that she would never be alone again.

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Lolleh: Well, that was short and sweet. But I liked it. R&R please if you find the time to!


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